tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2763136031681300281.post8187089533773259588..comments2023-02-20T03:33:27.725-05:00Comments on My Fairytopia Land: StressMickey & Minniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00094281988001482164noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2763136031681300281.post-24129380612522470592010-07-16T14:48:20.593-04:002010-07-16T14:48:20.593-04:00I'm sorry to hear of your difficulties. From ...I'm sorry to hear of your difficulties. From reading your post, it's clear that you know what to do (forgive). It's easier said than done, though (I know).<br /><br />There's a video out there somewhere called "Love and Respect". It looks at the old "his needs" versus "her needs" thing from a different angle. A primary need among men is respect. Men view spousal actions through a lens of respect. You might not think of your actions as disrespectful, but that's likely how he perceived them. When men aren't respected, they respond without love. When women are not loved, they respond with disrespect. Make sense? Basically, little things each of you reinforce the negative behaviors of the other. You need to learn how to unconditionally respect your husband just the way he needs to learn to unconditionally love you.<br /><br />I can understand how he would see you throwing down a water bottle and walking away as disrespectful, and his action in response was in now way loving. You need to get past the symptoms (what you're doing to each other) and remember what drew you together in the first place. Then, each of you needs to try to cultivate those things in the other. Of course, we can only change ourselves. In most cases, however, when enough time passes to show that one spouse's change of approach is the "real deal" (versus something undertaken just to manipulate), then you'd be surprised at how quickly things can change.<br /><br />Again, I'm sorry you're going through a tough time. I hope this comment doesn't feel like rubbing salt in a wound.FatManRunninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08560610681483078527noreply@blogger.com