Friday, January 13, 2012

Not too bad

I have spent very little time in my room and after the first few days, it's not so hard anymore. I enjoy being downstairs. I find that my family spends more time downstairs too, especially my husband. I don't have to ask him, he just brings his stuff down and we sit together. Noone has asked me yet why I have been spending so much time out of my bed, but I definitely think they notice. My youngest will call up to her sister to come down too so we all can watch something or play a game. I am loving this. I can slowly feel some of my depression melting away.

Another positive, is the pain is gone for now. I have been feeling like my self or almost a week now. Minimal to no nausea, I'm eating more. I know in a month the cycle will start all over again, I'm just hoping for less pain this time.

Thursday, January 5, 2012


After the tremendous pain on Monday, that continued through the night, Tuesday was a new day. By lunch the pain was almost all gone. I was able to spend time with my family and have dinner together. After dinner there was some feelings of pressure but nothing like the weekend. Since then, the pain has been gone. I've spent little time in my bed. We've played games together, watched tv together and just spent time being together as a family. I am so glad that I made this simple resolution.

Monday, January 2, 2012

The pain

I've managed 2 days out of my bed. What a great way to start the new year!! Except the pain has been the worse it's been in over a year when all this started. I finally broke down in my husbands lap this morning and cryed. Despite all the pain I have daily, I rarely cry about, because crying nots going to help. Until that moment, I don't think he realized just how much pain I've been in. I am a whiner by nature, but when something is truly bad, I tend to not say anything. He knows I've been having pain just not to this extent. I managed to still have a good day!

Really, I've had a good weekend. I got 12 loads of laundry washed, folded and all put away. The Christmas decorations are all down (hopefully my husband will put them away tomorrow ), and I worked on our bills. After dinner I had time to knit while I watched the kids dance on the kinect games and then the 4 of us played a family game. So despite all the pain I've had today, I feel very blessed! I think staying out of bed, maybe won't be so hard after all.

Sunday, January 1, 2012


Wow, it'a been a long time since i have written any thing. There has been lots of changes. Some for the better, some for the worse. My children are growing up. That's a good change! My oldest will be getting her drivers license in a month. Feeling kinda scared about that, but also very proud. My husband has a new job, and although he makes significantly less money, he is very happy!! I have a new job with Hospice that I love, but I also make less money. We are managing. I'm hoping to get our finances in better order this year. Not an easy task, this last year has taken a toll on them.

The biggest problem I am facing this year, is my depression. Despite everyone, including myself, being happier this year, I just can't seem to shake this funk that follows me. I've made a resolution this year, that appears simple on the outside, but is incredibly ard for me. I will try to not spend my free time in bed. I enjoy reading, knitting or just playing on my iPad. I can and should be doing those things other places then in my bed. I need to spend more quality time with my family. I want to spend more time with my family. The thing holding me bak, is how lousy I feel most days. There is something going on, I've been to the doctors . No real answers. All I know is that I have pain and discomfort daily. Frequently I am nauseous. I rarely have an appetite.I have been loosing weight. But there are a few reasons for that. I no longer eat catered meals everyday for lunch with my new job. In fact, I hardly have time for lunch. But as the years gone on, I am rarely hungry. If I do eat, lunch is usually my big meal, that I can eat and still feel ok. If I eat late I feel sick. I guess part of my depression is that I'm scared. Scared it could be something very serious.

So to start of the New Year, I'm going to start by staying active and positive. I'll continue to peruse my medical issues, but not from bed anymore! Hopefully my family will like having me around more!!