Sunday, January 1, 2012


Wow, it'a been a long time since i have written any thing. There has been lots of changes. Some for the better, some for the worse. My children are growing up. That's a good change! My oldest will be getting her drivers license in a month. Feeling kinda scared about that, but also very proud. My husband has a new job, and although he makes significantly less money, he is very happy!! I have a new job with Hospice that I love, but I also make less money. We are managing. I'm hoping to get our finances in better order this year. Not an easy task, this last year has taken a toll on them.

The biggest problem I am facing this year, is my depression. Despite everyone, including myself, being happier this year, I just can't seem to shake this funk that follows me. I've made a resolution this year, that appears simple on the outside, but is incredibly ard for me. I will try to not spend my free time in bed. I enjoy reading, knitting or just playing on my iPad. I can and should be doing those things other places then in my bed. I need to spend more quality time with my family. I want to spend more time with my family. The thing holding me bak, is how lousy I feel most days. There is something going on, I've been to the doctors . No real answers. All I know is that I have pain and discomfort daily. Frequently I am nauseous. I rarely have an appetite.I have been loosing weight. But there are a few reasons for that. I no longer eat catered meals everyday for lunch with my new job. In fact, I hardly have time for lunch. But as the years gone on, I am rarely hungry. If I do eat, lunch is usually my big meal, that I can eat and still feel ok. If I eat late I feel sick. I guess part of my depression is that I'm scared. Scared it could be something very serious.

So to start of the New Year, I'm going to start by staying active and positive. I'll continue to peruse my medical issues, but not from bed anymore! Hopefully my family will like having me around more!!

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